K is for FEAR

A short time ago I did a post about phobias and while it's not nice to laugh at people's fears it was pretty funny. So I thought I would "learn us all" some K phobias. Are you ready to have the krap (mispelling and grammar intended, word nazis) scared out of you?

And right out of the gate with a vagina joke:

Kolpophobia- Fear of genitals, particularly female
Let's talk about this one. Fear of genitals. Just marinade in that for a minute. It's pretty messed up. Does that mean you're also afraid of your own genitals? Then what? How do you function in society...how do you go to work knowing that the enemy is within arm's reach? That it's in your pants and there's nothing you can do about it? That they're possibly sweating genital essence into your underwear? Or into your jeans if you don't wear underwear. Could someone who is afraid of genitals NOT wear underwear? And would Barbie dolls be like their safe place? All smooth and genital-less. And what about earthworms? How do they feel about earthworms? This is blowing my mind.

Would they be afraid of a flower that looks like a vagina?

Kynophobia- Fear of rabies
Duh. Seriously. Who doesn't have this? Is there anyone out there that's like "Whatev, rabies. You do your thing over there and I'll do my thing over here" I don't think so. In fact, I would like to believe that kynophobia is the gateway phobia to fear of squirrels, skunks, opossums and let's not forget St. Bernards (thank,s Steven King). Then there's fear of giant needles. Rabies sucks all over. Be afraid of rabies. It's normal.

It's OK. Be afraid.

Kleptophobia- Fear of stealing
Haha! Good. This is another good one to have. It pairs nicely with "fear of getting caught" and "fear of jail". I am curious how one is diagnosed with kleptophobia. For example, you'd have to BE STEALING to realize you're afraid of it. And then what?

Oh wait, I know. STOP STEALING SHIT, YOU KLEPTO!!!

I totally get this one.

Kyphophobia- Fear of stooping
When I saw this, I said, huh? I sat here and took a moment for myself. I had to ask myself: Is there another definition of stooping other than "to bend down" or "lower to", because I don't get this one at all. So I used my trusty little computer box to look up some more info on the subject. I came across a website that is supposed to cure people of their fears. Here's what they had to say about the subject:

Kyphophobia Risk Factors & Causes

Cases of kyphophobia are usually (although not always) caused by an intense negative experience from the past. But your mind can also create that fear seemingly without basis. The key is digging down to the source and replacing negative associations with positive ones. Those at greatest risk include:

• People with a general tendency towards fear and anxiety
• People characterized as ‘high strung’
• People suffering from adrenal insufficiency

Do any of those describe you?

Uh, maybe. Then I had to look up adrenal insufficiency (salt cravings: YES. Weight Loss: NO, dammit!) So I guess I'm not afraid to stoop. That's good. I guess. Maybe I'll try a week without stooping and see if it affects my life, other than the fact that everyone else will have to pick stuff up for me because I will be too afraid...this is sounding awesome already.

Oh, the humanity!!!!!!

Koinoniphobia- Fear of rooms
WTF. I can't even digest this. What if someone with fear of rooms fell in love with someone with Kenophobia (fear of voids or empty space's)? Where in the hell would they live? Would they both be able to eat free range chicken? Topics that would be off limits: Outer space, Pi, doll houses, mimes being trapped in boxes, time, and jack-in-the-box.
 

RUN!!! IT'S A ROOM!!!!

RUN!!! IT'S A FIELD!!!

 I hope you have enjoyed this little trip. If we've learned anything, it's that fears come in all shapes and sizes. And some of them are perfectly OK. So, what are YOU afraid of?

Be Afraid,
Dana C.

The letter J: Too many possibilities

Going into the letter J, I was worried I wouldn't have anything to write about, completely forgetting my husband (Jim), my sister (Jenn). Since I'm not really into sharing too much about other people (to respect privacy and all that shiz) I'm going to share other things that start with J that I like. Enjoy!

On a side note, I am coming down off of a wicked migraine, and the fonts and formatting were completely pissing me off, so there's lots of fuck ups in this post (more than usual). Everytime I try to fix it, it makes it worse. So rather than burn my house down in frustration, you're getting my half-assed formatting. I can't deal with this shit today. Oh yeah, and my bird won't shut up, so I'm going to kill him and eat him for dinner tonight.

Mmmm...does a jelly doughnut warrant
sexy doughnut time flashbacks? I'm thinking
 YES, it's a definite possibility...

Jelly Doughnuts

I don't think there's much to say on this topic. If you don't like them, you haven't tried enough of them. There is a jelly doughnut out there for everyone, except maybe for diabetics. Even then, I bet someone makes a sugar free jelly doughnut (good luck with that). What I don't get is why so much powdered sugar on the outside? I always inhale it and choke. Putting aside the risk of sugar asphyxiation, they are a delight. A pure sugar lovers dream. And since there is fruit in jelly, it's probably the most healthiest doughnut in the case. So, go ahead, and have two. And don't forget, eating them with no pants on makes them taste even better. Just remember you can only do that at home, so get them to go.

Jail TV shows
No, I'm not talking about Cops (the all time best show to watch when drinking). I mean the jail shows, like "Las Vegas Jail" or " Jail" or "Locked-Up". I watch these shows on a just-in-case-I-get-arrested-and-need-to-survive-in-an-all-womens-prison premise. Seriously, don't you want to know what you're getting into if you decide to break the law? There's all different kinds of jail shows to prepare you for any scenario. For example, Las Vegas Jail shows you how to behave in the Clark County Correctional Facility. Being that we love Las Vegas, this show is important to watch. The key points to a holding facility is: shut the fuck up, face forward, speak only when spoken to (and only to guards) and no fighting. By following these simple tips, you will be released back into society before you know it, especially if it's just a public drunkenness charge. Locked Up shows you how to survive in prison. For example, in a men's prison, you can steal butter pats from the cafeteria to jerk off with...but don't get caught because you're not supposed to jerk off in prison. Also, Locked Up Abroad shows you that there is more than a million reasons to NOT stuff heroin balloons up your ass and take them to a foreign country. If you want to see how much prison can suck, watch that show. If you want to scare your kids, make them watch it. You will definitely convince them to not become drug smugglers. Check your local listings for all these great shows. You won't be sorry.

              This clip, from the Spike TV show, Jail, shows a woman crying for her mom.

Jackson 5
And not just the band, but the movie, The Jackson Five: An American Dream. It's on VH1 at least once every 3-6 months. It's good.

The Jackson 5 performing, "ABC" on American Bandstand

Green Apple Jelly Fruit Tea

Jelly Fruit Tea
I get it almost every time we go to Foxwoods. There's a Japanese bakery, called Fay Da there. They have Bubble Tea and Jelly Fruit Tea. But since this is J, I will tell you only about Jelly Fruit Tea. First you pick what flavor of tea you want. I like the green apple tea with jelly fruit. So, the green apple tea is a sweet drink that almost tastes like a green apple juice. Then they add the fruit jelly. Fruit jelly are little rectangles of flavored chewy jello stuff. I believe the jellied substance is made of the same stuff as certain soluble fiber supplements. It's almost like little Jello jiggler bits. The flavors are bright, sweet and tropical. While you drink the cold liquid, the chunks of jelly fly up the fat straw and you chew them. It's pretty filling for a drink and takes a long time to drink it. It's delish!!!!
                                                                            
For Fayda Drink info, click HERE

 
 Junior Mints
Junior Mints are the perfect candy to end any meal. They're minty but too minty. A nice palate cleanser but not so harsh that you feel like you ate toothpaste. The chocolate shell is waxy enough so as not to get all melty and nasty..yet it's sweet enough to make you feel like you're eating candy. The next time you go to the movies, get a small popcorn with butter and a box of junior mints. When you sit down, dump the junior mints into the popcorn. Commence eating. You will not be sorry.

Jim's Creations Art
And last but not least, JimsCreationsArt, my wonderful and talented husband's sites where he sells all the stuff he makes from scrap metal. And don't forget: It's not really welding until the smoke detectors are going off in the upstairs hallway!

Click HERE to go the Etsy shop

Click HERE to go to the Facebook Page and "like"


Well, there you have, some great things that start with the letter J. Take some time and tell me what things YOU like that start with the letter J. You can comment on the blog, or even on Facebook.

Have a great weekend!
Dana C.

Inspired...by YouTube (aka the letter "i")

I love YouTube. I watch videos all the time. Depending on my mood I watch certain things. Or, if I want to change how I feel, there are certain channels I prefer. Here are some viewing treasures for you...boner petite!

If you feel the need to hurt someone, and the only solution is to paralyze yourself with fear, watch Rubber Johnny:

                                                Rubber Johnny: Scare yourself into a coma

If you're feeling like maybe someone slipped a roofie in your drink, the best thing to do is watch this video by VenusAngelic:

• If you are horrified that this girl is 15 and making this video, you have not been drugged.
• If you watch this and can only focus on the stuffed animal tree on the couch, and you wonder what could live in it, you've definitely been drugged and need to call the police.
• If you watch this, and feel like both a creeper and little kid watching cartoons, you are me.

I am obsessed with makeup tutorials. I watch them all the time. But sometimes, I like to watch crazy ones. Then I don't feel obligated to get off the couch and try it, because it's too weird. If you're feeling this same way, watch this Lady Gaga inspired makeup tutorial, then take a nap:

                                          Michele Phan makes my favorite make-up videos

If you are so mentally tired, that you need to watch something with no words, and no thought involved, you will LOVE RRCherrypie videos. Here is one of my favorites. For me, this whole channel is like watching a cooking show :)

It's not a tongue, I promise. It's candy.

And, if you actually want to learn how to cook something Asian inspired, you go to the source. You go to Cooking With Dog. The best cooking channel on YouTube:

                                                          Mmmmmm.....bento box!

And now, allow me to introduce to you the channel that is my all time favorite: JennaMarbles. First of all, she's originally from Rochester, which makes her awesome. Secondly, she has a Masters degree in Sport Psychology and Counseling from BU. Third, she's fucking hilarious:

                                             NSFW: What Girls Think About During Sex

There! Those are some of my favorite videos, compliments of YouTube. I hope you enjoy them, perhaps feel inspired by them to do some YouTube surfing, and maybe even subscribe to their channel. It makes them feel loved, and you get to feel like you're part of a secret club.

Happy YouTubing!
Dana C