Letter H: I Can Haiku, Can You?

First off, allow me to give some props: To my sister, Jenn, for coming up with the idea for this post on the letter H. Thank you for thinking I'm funny. Without that I would slit my wrists.
Next, to Cathy L (aka cat), for giggling at my pathetic attempts to bring culture and fine arts to the workplace. You are the reason I don't throw myself out the window.


This week was a dreary one. And for whatever reason, dark, dreary weather makes me talk about dark, dreary things...like torturing someone in my basement (if you saw it you'd understand my fascination with torturing someone in it) or emotionally breaking someone down. I told you, dark days feed my dark soul. Now I know that talking about that kind of thing all day will give you a bad rep, so I prefer to channel my dark thoughts into other forms, making them more palatable to the people around me.


Enter the Haiku.

For those of you who are not familiar with haiku, here is a super simplified explanation of what I know about haiku: nothing. In school we simply learned that a haiku is a 3 line poem where the number of syllables for the lines are 5-7-5. We probably learned other stuff about it, but I was like 8 so forgive me for not remembering. Real haiku is way more complicated, and  most will say that you can not even write true haiku in English. But whatever. I'm not doing it to be serious...I'm doing it for fun. I will offer up one interesting thing I read on wikipedia about haiku:

This is the genius of haiku using an economy of words to paint a multi-tiered painting, without "telling all".Or as Matsuo Bashō puts it, "The haiku that reveals seventy to eighty percent of its subject is good. Those that reveal fifty to sixty percent, we never tire of."

That really speaks to me because that is EXACTLY why I love writing haiku. It can give people a glimpse of something without showing it all. It's a seductive fan dance of words. So, here are some haiku I wrote for you :)

Tired

Lids slip so easy

Slumber so effortlessly

Ready to fall down

Allergies

Itchy burning tears

No medicine really helps

Please cut my face off

Cloudy Days

Unroll the duct tape

Chloroform stops the struggle

Fun time in basement

Bees
Trying to kill me
Spray from 20 feet away
Die, motherfucker

Cat Hair
Gag, it's in my mouth
A vacuum cleaner's wet dream
Tumbleweeds drift by

Coffee

Pulse racing pick up

Too much makes me poop a lot

All day nervousness

Facebook

You lie perfection

My shit is always awesome

Typing through your tears

Eggs Benedict

Soft wet delicious

Your sauce gives me food boner

Nook and cranny love

Now, for the fun part. I want YOU to write haiku. Write it in the comments section of this blog, send it to me in an email, or put it on Facebook and tag me in your post. I am dying to read your haiku, whether it is funny, serious, silly or sad....I want it all. Give it a shot. Stick to the basic 5-7-5, or read up on real haiku and try that (good luck, it's wicked hard).

So, as I stated in my title, I can haiku, can you? Give it a shot.

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease,

Dana C.