Little Letter L: Love of People

For the letter L, I have decided to delve deep into one of many of our favorite past-times: People Watching. I know that lots of people enjoy that small glimpse into the lives of strangers and we all get it though different mediums. For example, I have a very good friend (who shall remain nameless, but let's call her "Schmara Shmoldman) who used to love our night time drives through the town we lived in. I would drive, and she would look into people's windows and tell me what they were watching on TV. Sometimes when dining out, you might see a couple talking in hushed angry tones and think, "Are they fighting? What about? Do I look like that if I'm pissed off in public?" or if you're like me you make up an insane story....something like: They're about to be married, and she just found out that her husband-to-be was born with both male and female genitals and was raised as a girl until he became of age and was able to have the surgery and change his name. He chose to tell her in a public place because she was raised in a crazy religious cult, so her first instinct at home would be to throw a snake on his face to "cleanse him". And he hates snakes. They make him scream. Like a woman. And at that very moment, she's putting it all together. How lucky are we to witness this momentous occasion?

But I digress. Sorry about that. I want to keep telling you about their fight that I just made up but I REALLY want to try and stay on topic (shiny object!!!!)

So, we like to people watch at the casino. It's a great place to witness all levels of human interactions from joy to pain (*singing* like sunshine, and rain). It's also a great place to see the most insane rituals and luck bringing antics you could ever imagine. Anyone who been to a casino can vouch for this. So for those of you who have been I hope you can sit back and reminisce and for those of you who have not, sit back and enjoy the crazies!

I'd like to break down some different groups of people that you will regularly see at any casino:

The Drunks: Theses are a great group of folks to watch. They fight with each other, they make really bad bets, they talk loudly...all the normal things that a pile of drunk people would do. But in a casino, you also see their world coming to a screeching halt when they just realize how much money they lost. Or they just realize their wife has left. With their money. Or the drunk girl who is purposefully picking a fight with her male counterpart in public because he can't do anything other than make sure her ass isn't hanging out of the bottom of her tank dress. And then she get pissed because he's trying to keep her vagina from being exposed and accuse him of always controlling her. Those are great moments because she usually falls down and that's when he walks away. Then the tears start and he keeps walking. Those are the forever moments in a relationship...

The Ritualizers: We've all seen them. The touch every fucking button on the machine before placing a bet. They stick their players cards in and out of the machine so many times (we call that slot fucking) because that will definitely ensure a jackpot! They wipe the screen with their hands in a weird acid induced swirls as the reels stop. They bang on the machine to try and make a reel stop in a particular spot. They punch the screen to try and make a reel stop. We sat next to a woman who licked every finger on her hand before touching a button. Every button press. She might as well have been sucking the fingers of everyone there. Ew. Some people like to make songs out of the buttons. Sad, shitty songs of loss...it's depressing. Now this is not to say that Jim and I don't have our own rituals. For example, every trip where there's a fountain requires money to be thrown in. And not just a penny, but pretty much all the change we have. We knock on each other's machines ALL the time. We kiss when we start a bonus. We ASK the machine for very specific things, like "OK, all I want is to get 3 reels of the slutty witch lady and birds on both sides (those of you who have played Wicked Winnings will know that one)". And then when she doesn't give it to you, you call her a whore. Then all of the sudden I start winning and I swear to God I think it's because she likes to be talked dirty to. So I continue to berate her. Then I stop winning and I can't understand why.

The Q-Tips: These are the old folks. Chain smoking and carrying around an oxygen tank. Swearing at their machines. Blocking up the aisles because their wheelchairs are never out of the way. These people are the roots of any casino. One night, I was sitting next to an old lady who was drunk and she told me all about menopause. It was awesome. We knew each other for all of 5 minutes and she was telling me about her sweaty breasts and dry vagina. I loved her. We also met an equally awesome woman in the poker room before one of Jim's tournaments. She was retired, and lived in Virginia with her family. She used to work in the casinos in Reno back when it has the happenin' place to go as a casino waitress. She had great stories. In fact, if my memory serves me right, she beat Jim out for first place in that tournament. She was one cool chick.

The Families: This is something we never understand. People bring their kids to a casino. OK, I get that there's an arcade and a Ben and Jerry's...but really? Their kids are always doing dumb shit, like running down the halls and screaming, or bouncing a basketball (into a pile of q-tips) or crying. I'm guessing they're bored out of their gourds and trying to do anything to get mommy's attention. Sorry honey, but mommy is too busy counting her slot tickets...

The Clubbers: Many casinos have clubs in them. These clubs are pounding out mad house beats when you walk by. There's a guy at the door to make sure you meet the dress code before paying to get in. The dress code is "prostitute chic" and "pimp-tastic". The highest heeled shoes you can imagine. This group eventually evolves into "The Drunks" at some point during the evening.

I hope you have enjoyed this small glimpse into my views on the sociological side of a casino experience. Perhaps you have your own experiences to share while observing mankind (or dogkind, or catkind) in a particular environment. Let me know in the comments.

Happy People Watching!
Dana C.